Your Wedding Speech - Toast to the Bride and Groom

For the groom, making his speech can be the biggest ordeal of the day. It need not be. Some thoughtful planning and preparation is all that it takes.

The groom’s response to the traditional toast to the bride and groom should focus on giving thanks….thanks to the proposer of the toast for the ‘generosity’ of their remarks about the couple and for the way in which the guests honoured the toast….thanks to the guests for sharing the momentous occasion, especially those who may have travelled some distance and at some cost to be there….thanks to the parents present for their support, generosity (if they have contributed to the cost of the occasion) and their acceptance of the bride and groom into their respective families (acknowledgement of any deceased parent may be appropriate at this stage)….thanks to the bridal party for all their assistance and guidance prior to and on the wedding day. The speech usually concludes with a toast to the bridesmaids.

In addition to giving thanks, the groom’s speech may also include a short story or brief anecdote that lets the groom show his feelings for his bride and why she is so special to him. Relating how they first met, sharing experiences they have had together or how each has influenced the other is bound to be interesting – people love to hear stories.

The above framework can be used to prepare a groom’s speech. The speech deserves careful crafting over a few days leading up to the wedding day. Be sure to read it out aloud in private several times before the day and try to memorise your opening line, for this will help you get started on the day. When called to speak, take a few deep breaths and begin to speak naturally as if having a conversation with friends, after all your audience is all friends. A note of caution: be careful not to race or gabble your speech.

What speeches do you have?

The simple answer is none, if that is what you want. However, it is customary to have at least one toast to the bride and groom, proposed by a relevant guest. If you do have such a toast, it is customary for the groom to respond. Today the bride may also speak.

If you plan more than one toast it is advisable to have a Master of Ceremonies (MC) who welcomes people, introduces any special guests and the speakers who follow. The MC would also propose the Royal Toast if such were part of the formalities.

The principal toast to the bride and groom follows and is responded to by the groom who concludes by proposing a toast to the bridesmaids. The best man responds on their behalf. Sometimes speeches end here, with the reading of any telegrams, emails or messages.

Additional speeches that may follow are to parents and grandparents, as well as absent friends. Consideration also needs to be given to how best to recognise and include any children from any previous marriage.

Humour in speeches at a wedding is an accepted tradition, but there is a need to keep a level of appropriateness and balance. Locker-room jokes should stay in the locker-room.

When to schedule speeches varies and is best discussed with the caterer so both they and you arrive at the best outcome for you and your relaxing guests.